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It was late at night and Noah Carter was still awake.The moonlight from the outside added a sense of loneliness. Noah couldn’t concentrate on what he was doing. He was thinking about another issue which wasn’t related in what he was focusing. Where’s his son? Was he alright? What time would he go home?

He was doing his report for the next day presentation for the meeting in the office. He couldn’t make a perfect report. He tried to concentrate but he couldn’t. All seemed to be quiet. No sighn of his son. All he could hear was the ticking of the clock until a cracking of the door from the lower floor of the two storey house broke the silence.

  “My son’s finally here” Noah thought as he left what he was doing and hurried downstairs.

  Tension embraced the two of them. No one dared to talk first. Wind from the outside made them feel cold. The door where his son entered was still hunged open. Noah took steps closer to his son and finally broke the deafening silence.

“Where have you been?” Asked Noah like any parent would ask if they sons or daughters came home late.

  “None of your business!” Answered Ryan bitterly as he went directly upstairs to his room.

  Ryan Carter was the only son of Noah. He was a teenager. They had a perfect life before when he was still a kid; when his mother was still alive. The relationship of him and Noah as father and son seemed to be on a rock when his mother died. He thought that his father didn’t seem to care about his mother. During the lost of his mother, his father wasn’t there. He was in an out of the country appointment. An appointment that made him missed the remaining days of his beloved wife.

Since then, Ryan had been rough towards his father. In contrast, Noah was working so hard to give all his son’s needs. They had a stable life, they had both cars, Ryan was studying in an exclusive school, they got maids and they had a two storey house big enough for the two of them.

  No doubt, Noah was a good father. He just couldn’t force his son to love him back. Who’s son would be grateful to watched his mother died while his father was busy sorting other things?

 Noah took a picture frame in his desk. The picture showed a 26 aged man with glasses on his green eyes carrying a lovable little boy. Beside him stood a lovely girl with reddish hair. She was a smiling so beautifully.He reminisced how happy they were during that time. He wanted to turn back time and spent his life with the remaining time of his wife’s life. He wanted to have that perfect happy family again. Tears were slowly running down his face.

                                                       ***

“Got a lot of homework huh? Do you need a hand?” Asked Noah trying to have a good conversation.

  Ryan was writing. Probably doing his homework. He didn’t even bother to answer back. He ignored his father standing in the door of his four cornered room as if he was a ghost.

 After a couple minutes of pretending not hearing and not seeing someone, he looked at his father’s eyes and said “If this si your way of having a good talk, I’m sorry I don’t buy it.”

Noah was hurt on what he had heard and it could be seen through his green eyes. It seemed like he was stabbed in the chest with those hurting words. He walked slowly near where his son sat and said with teary eyes “Do you think I don’t care? I’ve been-“

 But before Noah could continue what he was saying, Ryan had got to his feet and answered “Really? You care? Where were you when mom died? WHERE WERE YOU!”

  Tears were running down their faces at that moment. Ryan who seemed to be out of his mind passed out his father without even saying where he would go. Noah looked after him hoping he would not continue walking away. His hope failed. The vision of Ryan vanished.

  Noah didn’t able to sleep that night. He was extremely worried. He didn’t know if his son would show again. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know who to call and he didn’t know where to find his son.He was so afraid to loose someone he loved for the second time around.

                                                           ***

  The sun had shined so bright. The sunlight seemed to be a blinding light. Still, there was no sighn of Ryan. Noah was about to call the police when the phone rung. He didn’t know why his heart beat so fast hearing the phone. He didn’t have any idea who would call him. Who’s over the phone?

  “Hello?” Answered Noah.

“Mr. Carter. This is from the Marikina Medical Center and your son–,

Hearing the word son made his heart beat faster. What happened to his son?

 “Your son Ryan carter’s here. He was involved in a car accident last night. I’m sorry to say but his condition is bad.”

 That was it. His son was in the hospital. Was he going to be okay? No one knew.

 Minutes had passed and he was already at the hospital. The doctor from the operating room came out.

 Noah was till in his night time attire. He didn’t even bother to change his clothes before going to the hospital. He was sitting in a bench, waiting for news. His hands were shaking. He was sweating so bad. Noah got to his feet to face the doctor who just turned out. What was the doctor going to say?

“You’re Ryan’s father right?” Asked the doctor as he stopped to took a deep breath. “ Yes I’am. How is he?” Noah asked nervously. “I’m sorry to say but–” The doctor stopped again. He couldn’t seemed to say what he was going to say.

 

“we did all we could. He’s dead.” continued the doctor.

Noah couldn’t believe what he had heard. He couldn’t say a thing. His eyes were wide open. He was shocked. He couldn’t face the fact that he lost someone for the second time around. They hadn’t spent great time together and now, they would not be able to.

  Thunder made a terrible noise. Rain poured so hard. It wasn’t just raining outside, rain was happening in his green eyes too. He cried and cried like he lost everything. He cried and cried like there’s no more reason for him to live.

  “Mr. Carter, the police found this notebook on his car. This might belongs to him. You can have it.” The doctor said as he gave the notebook to Noah.

  Noah accepted the notebook. He opened it where the marker was and read what was written on it.

  Dear Dad,

 

  I now forgive you for not being there when mom died. I’ve been a fool for not taking your reasons. I’m sorry if I couldn,t be the son that you wanted. I’m sorry that through out these years I’ve been treating you so bad.

 

 I’m missing the day that we spent when I was still a kid. If it’s possible, I’m looking forward of doing that agian with just the two of us now that mom is gone.

 I miss your hug, i miss the way you caress me, i miss how you say you love me but above all, I miss you.

 

  Dad, I hope it’s not yet too late for us to fix things out.

 

  I love you and I always will. I would never ask for another father except you.

 

  Love,

Ryan

 

Noah was still crying so hard. He could never be able to hug, to kiss, to take care and to say how much he loved his son that had been his life ever since.

 Above all what happened between him and his son, he was still grateful for one thing. His son expressed his love at last.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 4th, 2008 at 5:23 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.